Wanderlust

n. a strong desire or urge to wander or travel and explore the world

In December of 2016, I was at my work Christmas party, a few drinks too many into the night. It had been a hard year, from the dissipation of my longterm relationship to political unrest in the United States. All of this had taken a toll on my mental health. I was in a “screw it all, I’m going to leave the country and run away” kind of mood. I mentioned this fantasy to my coworkers, who replied, “Well, why don’t you?”

There are many reasons to travel. This night in particular, my coworker was telling me about how much they had wished they had done a traveling sabbatical when they were younger, and regret not doing something so drastic when they had the opportunity. My coworker told me about how you get caught up in work and then family and the dream of traveling the world slowly slips away. The opportunity to do this shifts to retirement age when one has less responsibilities. But that seems like light years away to me. Do I want to wait that long?

“There are seven days in a week and someday isn’t one of them.”

Benny Lewis

I had heard these reasons for travel before, but my coworker’s passion really resonated with me that night; it was the push I needed to hear. I couldn’t fathom the idea of going anywhere by myself though. The world is scary and dangerous and I’ll be lonely, right? In reality, none of those are legitimate reasons to avoid traveling. When you get accustomed to living a certain way and knowing where everything is, etc., you filter out the dangerous parts of your home in your brain. You think your bubble is safe. In reality, there are dangerous areas of anywhere in the world. While I felt physically safe in the comforts of my home city, I was starting to go stir-crazy and needed a change.

“If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It is lethal.”

Paulo Coelh

As a fairly social person, I was more afraid of being lonely and missing my friends and family. After all, I had lived in the same area, Denver, Colorado, for 18 years of my life. I love Colorado; it is a beautiful state. I love the mountains; hiking in the summers and skiing in the winters. I love having the opportunity to see my family anytime I want. I love hanging out with my friends on the weekends and attending various gatherings. I wanted to bring that sense of Colorado with me, and for the next year I tried to make travel plans with friends to move to Europe together and work there. But as soon as you need to work somewhere, complications arise. Due to a variety of reasons, I was unable to find a travel partner. But the process of searching for one made me realize that I was fully capable of doing this on my own. I couldn’t ask others to uproot their lives to go travel. I understood that if I wanted to see the world, the only person that could make that happen was me and only me. 

At the beginning of 2018, I decided I was going to quit my job and leave the country by the end of the year. This idea terrified me, so I spent the majority of the year procrastinating on making travel plans. Not only did I want to leave everything behind to travel, but I also did not want to come back to Denver after I was finished. I feared that I had established too much routine back home and after traveling, it would be time to try living somewhere else. As such, it was very important to do as many Colorado activities as possible back home and see my friends and family as often as I could before I left. I visited many states that year, pushed my body to the limits by attempting to do a half Ironman race, went on trips with family, biked long distances, attended as a bridesmaid at my best friend’s beautiful wedding, went on a vacation to Europe with a couple friends, and indulged in all of my favorite things. The year was quickly passing by, and I had not made plans to travel yet, which was starting to weigh down on me.

Several of my coworkers knew that I wanted to quit and travel so in the summer, they put some pressure on me to plan the trip out, or at least buy a plane ticket. I finally sat down in June and bought a one-way flight to New Zealand. The feeling was exhilarating. 24 hours went by, and the flight was non-refundable. The next several months flew by, and then it was November, my last month or work, which was an emotional time. Your job is such a large part of who you are. You spend 8+ hours a day at work, essentially seeing your coworkers more than most other people in your life. Leaving a place of tremendous support and love was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. It honestly didn’t feel real until my last day at my going-away gathering when I was asked to say a few words, and looking up at the people with whom I had worked with for over four years, I choked up. I couldn’t believe I was leaving my job. It’s how you describe who you are; “Hi, I’m Anastasia and I’m a <insert profession here>.” I’m very grateful for the work I had the opportunity to do, where I was able to grow as an individual. I’m especially grateful that I was able to save up enough money to comfortably quit and see the world to live out my passions; I know that not everyone has the same opportunities I have had in life. 

This brings us to December 5, 2018, the day of my flight to New Zealand. All the preparing I had done was going to have to be good enough. I moved out of my apartment and got rid of the majority of my possessions. I had one larger backpack as my carry-on, and one smaller daypack as my personal item. After many iterations, I condensed my closet down to what I could fit and take with me and stuffed everything in small bags for compatibility. After a stressful time at the airport due to my misunderstanding of visa qualifications, which I will discuss in more details in another post, I made it on my flight and was off. As soon as I was in the air, reality and panic started closing in. I was leaving my life behind to travel. I wished I had seen my friends for longer, hugged my family for longer, and slept with my cat one more night. I wish I had actually created a plan for my travels, rather than settling down with my “wandering” mindset. All of these regrets circling around in my head eventually faded as I boarded my second, longer flight in California. The flight happened to be half empty for, and I had a whole row to myself. I was able to lay down and actually get some sleep which was very helpful. 12 hours later, we were descending into Auckland, NZ. It was a clear morning; the skies were blue and the ocean was turquoise. As soon as I could see land, my nose was scrunched up against the window. I was in awe of the beauty of the land. The whole island was lush and green, with rolling hills everywhere. 

At this time, I knew that the stress would all be worth it. I was excited to step into the unknown. My wanderlust was ignited. 

-Anastasia